Sunshine
by JimDimitri
Summary: Vaguely AU, post-Karnak. Daniel muses on the last time he saw Rorschach. Very baww-tastic, then becomes daww. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

With the tears streaming down his face, it was hard to see where he was going, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Memories swirled in his mind, running his nerves raw, his head aching so sharply he imagined that he was frying his neurons even as he sat in his cushy pilot's seat. He couldn't stop the constant replay running through his head, the words running over each other like a hobo jittering out his schizophrenic ranting.

--

"Dan, get a hold of yourself already!" Laurie's voice coming from a cloudy shape; he couldn't help the tears, couldn't stop them from coming even in the face of the woman who he thought he cared for. Could love, even. The snow was cold under his feet, and it felt as if the tears must be freezing on his face. He must have been crying for a long time, just standing there in the snow; Laurie had been comforting at first, but she was getting annoyed by now. "He knew what was going to happen to him, you heard him say so! Why even get yourself worked up like this?"

--

A strangled cry escaped Daniel then, echoing in Archie's empty interior. This wasn't supposed to be how it worked out; Daniel was supposed to go with Laurie, escape to some tiny third-world country and try to start anew. Maybe even start a family, one day. But Laurie's exasperation had cut him to the quick, had pushed too hard that which had not yet calloused itself, and he had fallen silent in the face of her eager chatter about the future. Their future.

There would be no Rio. There would be no Carribbean. There would be no him and Laurie.

She had been displeased, and understandably so; Daniel wasn't even entirely certain himself why he had refused her so suddenly. He had been Rorschach's friend, and Rorschach had been one of his closest friends; but he and Laurie had shared a night of passion. Why should Rorschach's death change anything?

--

"Heard you singing, Dan."

--

Dan loosed a keening cry of pain, pounding one fist against Archie's steering column. Damn his impotency; damn his memory, for preserving Rorschach's growled voice so perfectly.

--

"Heard me – pardon?" Dan had asked, flushing as he looked up from his Audubon newsletter, his glasses slipping down his nose. It was late; he hadn't anticipated Rorschach staying this long. He usually just ate and left.

"Heard you. Last night, when you were washing dishes." Rorschach had repeated, his eyes locked steadily on Daniel's might not have been able to see the intense gleam from under the mask, but he could certainly feel the weight of his gaze on him. "Singing."

"Well, I, ah, yes, I suppose I was." He stammered, trying to pay very close attention to his newsletter, as if he could ignore the masked man standing in the center of his living room. "I like singing. It usually just happens unconsciously when I work." He glanced up at Rorschach, the shorter man's image fuzzy as he looked over his glasses. "Did it bother you? I could stop."

"No." The masked man growled, and he fell silent for a moment, as if waiting for Daniel to speak again. But Daniel didn't, and just sat and watched him, pushing his glasses back up his nose with one finger. After almost a full minute's slience, he finally spoke. "Thought it sounded… nice." He growled quietly, almost inaudible.

Rorschach was not precisely the person Daniel would have pegged as a music lover, but he smiled all the same, nodding up at his partner as warmly as if he were a fully rational civilian who had offered him a compliment. "Well, thank you, Rorschach. I'm glad you liked it."

"Hurm." He had growled, clearly uncomfortable, and had stalked out shortly thereafter. "Going on patrol." He'd growled by way of farewell, and dissapeared into the Nest, closing the door lightly behind him.

--

Daniel lurched to his feet, hitting a few stray buttons before he managed to hit the right one, putting Archie into autopilot. A strangled sob escaped him as he stumbled towards the back of the little ship, and he ran the back of his hand over his eyes roughly, trying to stem the tears.

--

"_Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee,_" Daniel sang, up to his elbows in dishwater, scrubbing at a rather stubborn spot on the saucepan. "_Now I know at last the secret of it _AAAGH!" He finished with a yelp.

Rorschach drew his hand back from Dan's shoulder, the gloved fingers curling instinctively into a fist. "Hello, Daniel."

"R-Rorschach! I didn't hear you come in!" Daniel gasped, his eyes still rather wide behind his glasses. His eyes moved to the kitchen door, amazingly intact. And yet, Rorschach was inside. How had such a miracle occured?!

"Came in through the Nest." Rorschach growled, the blots on his mask shifting. "Didn't want to interrupt the concert."

Daniel flushed, embarrassed to have been caught off-footed by his former partner, and singing to boot. "Right. Ah, just ... washing some dishes. I guess I got a bit carried away." He finished a little quietly, noticing that Rorschach's interest had waned. He was now digging through the cupboard, same as usual, as if he'd been completely unaffected by Dan's singing.

Daniel had been washing dishes for a good ten minutes before Rorschach spoke again. "You know other songs?"

He paused momentarily, resisting the urge to turn back to look at Rorschach. "Uh, yeah, a few. Why, you got any requests?" A feeble joke; he expected a sharp retort from Rorschach, or some condemnation of love songs as 'liberal feel-good garbage'.

"Know the _ángeles_ song?"

Daniel stopped, temporarily frozen. "The ... what?"

Rorschach 'hurm'ed softly to himself, displeased, and fell silent.

"I, uh, don't know any song like that." He turned, curious, to face Rorschach. "Where did you hear that song?"

Rorschach's face turned towards Dan's suspiciously, but when he saw sincere curiosity in the heavier man's expression, his scowl relented slightly. "Neighbor downstairs. Lots of squalling little kids. Always running around, making noise, yelling in Spanish." He said harshly, but Dan thought that his voice softened when he spoke again. "Moved away. Used to always sing to the children at night."

Daniel's brows furrowed in thought, and he shook his head, wiping his wet hands on his pants. "Well, I don't know very many Spanish songs."

Rorschach fell silent again, busying himself with his beans. Daniel eventually gave up on any further response, and turned his attention back to the dishes.

"What about the sunshine song?"

"What about-- what song is that?" Daniel asked, craning his head to look back at Rorschach.

"You know."

"No, I don't." Dan frowned, curious now. Why would Rorschach be asking about songs? "Can you hum it? Maybe I'd recognize it if--"

"NO."

"Well how am I supposed to know what it is if you don't tell me anything about it?" Daniel huffed, exasperated.

Rorschach fell silent again, and Daniel thought he was going to give up on this tack like he had before, when he finally mumbled something.

"Did you say something?" Dan asked casually, assuming it was another opening line to a tirade about 'hedonistic liberals' or something.

"You are my sunshine."

Daniel paused, and abandoned the dishes completely at this point to turn around and stare at Rorschach. "Excuse me?"

"The song. First line goes, 'you are my sunshine.'" He said gruffly, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the can of beans before him. "Can't remember the rest."

Daniel stared at him for a moment, too surprised to speak. "_You are my sunshine_?" He began tentatively, singing the first few notes.

Rorschach stared at the can for a moment more, seemingly impassive, but finally gave a tiny nod. "That one. The sunshine song."

"You ...like that?" Daniel asked dubiously, trying to hide his shock. Rorschach, the hardened vigilante, who would break your finger as soon as look at you, liked a song about /sunshine/? It was downright mind-boggling.

Rorschach stared at the can of beans in silence, but Daniel couldn't bring himself to look away.

"She sang to them. Every night." Rorschach said finally, his hands steepled in front of him on the table. Daniel only took particular notice of them when they began to shake, very softly. "Every night."

Daniel stared down at Rorschach, so full of anger, so full of secrets that it must be making him sick, and he reached out to him. Like a wounded animal, Rorschach moved away from his touch, and he glared reproachfully up at Daniel. Hell how he knew it was reproachful, what with that damn mask on, Daniel thought with a frown. Obligingly, he returned to the dishes, his shoulders slumped with defeat.

The two men sat there for several quiet moments, silent save for the sound of the occasional clink of the dishes in the sink.

--

Daniel slumped to the floor, sobbing unashamedly as he clutched Rorschach's hat to his chest. "I just want to keep it for posterity," he'd lied, and Adrian had shot him such a pitying, smug look, he'd wanted to punch his teeth down his throat. Now, he crumped the well-worn fedora to his chest, bawling uncontrollably into the maddening silence that filled Archie.

Rorschach had finally gotten to his feet, placing the empty can of beans into the trash can as he headed to the door. His had was on the knob when he paused, realizing that Daniel was saying something to him. It took a split-second for him to realize-- no, not saying; _singing_.

"_You are my sunshine, _

_My only sunshine. _

_You make me happy _

_When skies are grey. _

_You'll never know, dear, _

_How much I love you. _

_Please don't take my sunshine away. _

_The other night, dear_

_As I lay sleeping, _

_I dreamed I held you in my arms. _

_When I awoke, dear_

_I was mistaken. _

_Please don't take my sunshine away. _

_You are my sunshine, _

_My only sunshine. _

_You make me happy _

_When skies are grey. _

_You'll never know, dear, _

_How much I love you. _

_Please don't take my sunshine away._"


	2. Chapter 2

Dan sat there for what felt like a long time, keening as he slowly rocked back and forth, feebly trying to comfort himself. But Dan was only a man; he eventually ran out of tears, and ran out of the energy to propel such wild hysterics. So finally, he simply sat, slumped against Archie's metal siding, hating that he was too weak to save Rorschach, or even to mourn him properly. In ancient times, mourners would leap onto funeral pyres; today, Dan couldn't even keep his tears going. Pathetic, really.

Every so often, a weak hiccup would escape him, prompting soft, miserable sniffling, and a re-check on the hat. Yep, still there. Warm from his touch, Daniel could almost imagine that it had just dropped from Rorschach's head, that he was just holding it for him while Rorschach napped on the way back to New York. He could pretend, for just a few moments, that Rorschach had never died, that Rorschach would wake up any moment now to growl at him again, and call him a 'simpery liberal', and try to come up with some scheme about how Adrian was backed by the Commies, or something equally paranoid.

Dan curled his knees closer to his chest, propping himself against Archie's side more snugly as he whimpered. Trying to imagine how annoyed Rorschach would have been if he could see him crying like this didn't help; it just reminded him that there would never be another growled "Contain yourself, Dan" at the end of a difficult patrol. No more sugar-cube ronching, no more empty bean cans in the morning, no more fixing his kitchen door.

It would be many hours until he reached New York; an endless eternity that seemed to yawn before him like an abyss.

**BAM**

Daniel jerked to his feet, pulling the hat to him protectively. What the hell could that be? How ironic, he thought darkly, rubbing his nose as he moved towards Archie's console, to die while mourning his dead partner.

With one hand still clutching the worn fedora snug to his chest, he feverishly checked over Archie's myriad dials and switches. Well, they weren't losing any altitude, so the engines were working; maybe it was one of the steering thrusters? Or perhaps the landing gear had unfrozen and deployed itself? It could be any number of things, really, but thankfully the noise hadn't

_KRRKK KKRRRREEEEHCHHH_

Daniel whirled, the hat still tight against his chest, watching silently as Archie's belly-door slid open. Something must have happened to the landing gear, and his grip on the hat tightened as icy wind suddenly whipped through the opening. Something must have rammed into the belly, he thought tiredly; accidentally engaged the emergency-open switch, or something. It was supposed to be a difficult switch to find; he'd have to find a new location for it, if something as simple as a landing-gear malfunction could cause it to pop open.

He had only taken two steps towards the open door, intending to yank it closed before he completely froze to death, when a figure pulled itself through the opening heavily, clearly struggling.

Daniel just gaped at it, frozen in place, until the figure grunted, "Wouldn't mind a hand closing the door, Daniel."

Rorschach.

He wasn't aware he had spoken the word until Rorschach frowned at him, annoyed. Frowned so Daniel could see his mask was missing. Freckles and snowflakes spattered his face, with its bruised, high cheekbones, and another dark mark beginning to appear over his eye. He must have gotten that from the scrabble with Adrian, Dan thought numbly; it looked fresh.

They stood there in silence for a minute, Rorschach and Daniel just staring at each other as Archie's cabin began to fill with icy air.

"You will freeze, Daniel." Rorschach finally ground out.

"You're not dead."

Rorschach scowled even harder, eyeing Daniel. "Cannot feel the cold if I am dead."

"You're not dead."

"Need to close the hatch, Daniel, or the controls might freeze."

"You're not dead." He repeated weakly, tears gliding silently down his cheeks.

Rorschach stared at him blankly for a moment, then took a half-step towards the hatch, as if meaning to muscle it closed himself. But he only got that far before Daniel was on him, holding him tightly against his chest.

"Ennk. Daniel." He grunted, stiffening in his touch. Daniel ignored him, holding him so tightly that his bones ached, and still he didn't release him. They stood in silence for only a few moments before the wracking sobs started up again, his legs suddenly buckling as he fell to his knees. Unfortunately, he was still holding Rorschach tightly enough that he was dragged down with him, snarling all the way. But for all that he growled his complaints, he made no attempt to hurt Dan as he was dragged down.

"You're okay. You're not dead." Daniel sobbed openly, his hands roving over Rorschach's stiff form. "Not dead, _not dead_." Strong back, arching as he attempted to move away from Dan's crushing hug. The sharp angles of his shoulder blades, moving under Dan's fingers even as he held him, trying to free himself. Still disbelieving, needing to touch every inch of him to be certain that he was really there, that this wasn't some kind of sick dream that his half-frozen mind had created. He buried his face in Rorschach's neck, feeling the man squirming away from him. Dan could feel Rorschach's heart beating against his mouth, wild and fierce, and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, he settled for a wet sort of whimpering, squeezing Rorschach unrelentingly, his fingers digging into his trench coat.

"No, Daniel, not dead." Rorschach said finally, ceasing the most violent of his struggling. He still wriggled occasionally, extremely discomforted by Daniel's sudden desire to touch him. He stared down at the top of the second Nite Owl's head for a moment, torn between confusion and pity, and finally laid a gloved hand against his hair. Comforting him, although it was clear he wasn't quite certain how to do so.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Daniel whispered finally, his tears hot on his face, his hands finally stilling against Rorschach's body, satisfied with the reality of the shorter, sweaty vigilante beneath him.

"Am not so easy to destroy as Adrian thinks." Rorschach snarled, his hand a steady pressure against Dan's scalp. He paused, seemed to hold his breath for a moment, then moved his thumb in a quick swipe over Daniel's hair. Stroking him. "Don't cry."

Daniel snorted, although it came out as more of a wet hiccup. "Thought you were blown to bits." He whispered, his voice harsh and throaty with tears.

"Dr. Manhattan made some speech about 'cycles' and things never ending; wasn't listening much, don't have much use for liberal bullshit." Rorschach growled with practiced flippancy, his thumb stroking Dan's hair a little more steadily now.

Daniel smiled against his skin, still weeping. The cabin air was beginning to get downright frigid now, but Dan didn't notice until he noticed the tears cooling on his cheek, and Rorschach shivering softly under him. "Are you cold?" He whispered wetly, knuckling his running nose, attempting to stem it.

"No. Am going into shock, perhaps."

Daniel looked up slowly, thinking that it was, perhaps, another one of Rorschach's unfunny little 'jokes', but there was no amusement in the shorter man's face; only a tightly-controlled pain, one that was getting harder to mask by the minute. "R-Rorschach, are you hurt?" Daniel croaked, his voice ragged. When Rorschach didn't answer, he pulled back to get a better look at him, searching for any obvious signs of damage. He saw none at first glance, but as he pulled back one arm to his side, he noticed a new, dark stain along his sleeve. He couldn't smell it through his stuffed-up nose, but if it was bad enough to soak through, it must be bad.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Daniel tried to demand angrily, although it came out more as a desperate sort of whine, sharp and reedy. He stumbled to his feet, taking a tight hold of Rorschach to steady him as the two stood.

"You were crying." Rorschach said simply.

The next few minutes were a blur in Daniel's mind; somehow, he settled Rorschach into the copilot's chair and threw a blanket over him while simultaneously trying to get the belly-hatch closed. Unfortunately, the frigid temperatures had frozen one of the gears, so it took a few minutes of intense swearing and straining until it finally slid shut. The hatch now sealed, Dan flicked another switch, sending tepidly warm air into the half-frozen cabin.

The immediate disaster averted, he returned his attention to Rorschach, who was trying to quell his shivering under the blanket. It told him how exhausted and wrung-out the shorter vigilante was when he didn't fight him taking off his trench coat. The blood-stains were much more intense underneath the already-stained overcoat, with the largest blossom of blood unfolding at his waist. Daniel was about to cut off his clothes when Rorschach's hand suddenly shot out, his hand squeezing Dan's bicep with an iron grip.

"I need to clean you up." Daniel insisted, brandishing his scissors.

"Don't hurt my suit." Rorschach ground out, still trembling, but his hand remained hard on Dan's arm.

"It's just one suit! I'll buy you another if it's so damn important!" Dan hissed, fear sharpening his voice.

"Will break your fingers." Rorschach promised.

"God_dammit_, Rorschach!" Daniel snarled, but he obediently began undoing each button on the jacket, tossing it aside (ignoring Rorschach's insistent pleas of "need to fold it properly, Dan") before going to work on the vest. Dan figured that it would save the time arguing to just do it Rorschach's way, whether or not he might get his fingers broken. Once the jacket and vest were off, the button-down white shirt and undershirt came next, all stained with the same blood.

"Rorschach, what _happened?_" He whispered, wincing as he pressed sterile gauze against the wide gash in his side.

"Manhattan had to get blood from somewhere." Rorschach said darkly, his expression stoic as Dan began to clean out the wound with tender carefulness.

He laid perfectly still as Daniel tended to him, his expression carefully blank as Dan smoothed over his naked torso with the gauze, pressing antiseptic into anything that was open, cleaning the worst of the scuffs and bruises "just in case." Finally, he looked over his work, checking over the stitches in Rorschach's side for the twentieth time, making certain that they were staying closed. Reassured, he pulled the blanket over Rorschach's freckled body, swallowing back the guilty tears that arose as he sat beside him on the cold floor. If he had only he had stopped his stupid crying, and really checked him over, he might have noticed! What if it was too late? What if Rorschach went into shock and died, after all of that, because Dan couldn't get him to a doctor soon enough?

He hadn't noticed that he was weeping loudly enough for Rorschach to hear until the smaller vigilante growled at him. "Stop crying."

"I don't know what I'll do if you die again." Daniel whispered, his voice raw. "I wasn't even sure I'd make it through the first time, much less the _second_."

"Am not going to die." Rorschach barked, grunting as he abruptly pulled himself up onto his forearms. Daniel was about to stop him, demand that he lie back down, when he laid his head on Dan's thigh. "Not if head is propped up." He amended, closing his eyes again, apparently unfazed by having his head in Dan's lap. Unfazed, perhaps, or just too exhausted to question where his pillow came from.

Dan looked down at him, staring at the red-head as he settled himself comfortably on Dan's leg, the shivering finally stopping. Tears dropped from his lashes into Rorschach's hair silently, a few strays raining on Rorschach's freckles. Rorschach tolerated it for the time being, his breathing soft and slow as Daniel's tears eventually stopped, drying salty in his hair. For a little while, they simply sat there in silence, Daniel's gaze constantly returning to Rorschach.

"Daniel." Rorschach growled softly, his voice raspy not from fierceness, but exhaustion.

"Yes?" Daniel answered, a little too quickly.

"Would not mind hearing the sunshine song again." A pause. "If you still remember it."

Daniel rubbed one eye with the back of his hand, trying to prevent the tears that threatened to begin falling again. "S-Sure, I remember it."

"Good." A soft sigh, the fair lashes fluttering softly over freckled cheeks.

And as the pair soared off into the inky sky, Archie's metal walls began to reverberate with the soft sounds of a well-known lullaby.

_"You are my sunshine..."_

---

Carrying Rorschach wasn't as difficult as Dan had first imagined. Despite not being in tip-top shape since retirement, he still outweighed Rorschach quite a bit, and desperation lent him a newfound strength. There was no way he could leave Rorschach to lie on the couch, but he could hardly ask him to walk up the stairs, either. Much to Rorschach's displeasure, he was forced to carry him the whole way, with Rorschach's head tucked close under his chin.

After an intense, nerve-wracking climb, Rorschach was finally laid in Dan's bed, blankets tucked carefully around his bruised and broken body. After a moment's hesitation, Daniel slid in beside him, wrapping his arms around Rorschach gingerly.

"Daniel, will be fine." Rorschach growled tiredly, staring at the ceiling. "Am not cold any more."

"I know." Daniel snuffled, the wetness in his voice the only sign of his returned tears.

"Daniel." Rorschach snapped, clearly uncomfortable. "Stop crying."

"I keep thinking I'm going to open my eyes and you'll be dead again."

Rorschach growled at him, hoping that fear would instill a stiff upper lip into Daniel's vocabulary. "Daniel. Stop."

"You were a blot on the snow, Rorschach. There was nothing left of you but blood and a hat."

"Daniel." Frustrated now, his voice tight with discomfort. He wasn't used to hearing Daniel cry like this, and it unsettled him more than Dr. Manhattan's teleportation had. "Stop it."

"Blood, on the goddamn _snow_, Rorschach." He wept, his arms tightening around Rorschach's narrow, lithe body.

"You are the Nite Owl, not some simpering child."

"I know."

But Daniel continued to cry softly, doing his best to muffle the sound. For several minutes, the only sound in the darkened bedroom was Daniel's soft crying, punctuated by the occasional hiccup or mewl. Eventually, he turned away from Rorschach, hoping in vain that he wouldn't notice as much if he wasn't crying into his hair. He half-buried his face in the pillow, which only had the effect of dampening his pillow and muffling the sound to a low whimper.

Rorschach had had enough. With a grunt, he rolled onto his side, and threw one arm over Dan's rounder side. Daniel fell silent, accepting it as a silent threat, but still tried to crane his neck so that he could look over his shoulder at Rorschach. There was a light pressure on his nape, and before he could question it, Rorschach began to grumble softly. It took a few moments before he realized that it was half-growled humming. He hummed into the back of Daniel's neck for a minute, trying to hammer out the tune, and then began to weakly sing, his voice low and hesitant, skipping the words he didn't know.

_"You are my sunshine,_

_mmm hmm hmm sunshine._

_Mmm hmm happy, hmm skies are grey._

_You'll never know how much hmmm,_

_Please don't take my sunshine away."_

He had to hum the next stanzas almost entirely, but Daniel didn't mind at all.


End file.
